Apex Self Defense

Protecting the world from miscreants and scum

Archive for the tag “celebrity look alikes”

Funny Mug Shot T-Shirts

Some of the funniest mugs we’ve ever seen, usually include some moron wearing a hilarious T-shirt. So here they are, some of the best t-shirts ever in a mug shot;

Super Freak!

Subject: Craig T. Wellington
Crime: Petty Theft, Public intoxication
Profile: Dating Rick James?

Craig apparently thought it was a good idea to steal a case of Red Bull from the back of an unattended delivery truck on a dare from a friend. Is it any surprise that alcohol was a factor in this equation?

Unfortunately for him, getting arrested was just the beginning of his problems. Next time, Craig may think twice about his wardrobe decisions when he leaves the house. As a rule of thumb, you never want to give the wrong impression about your sexuality to a group of men who’ve been locked up without any female companionship for months or years at a time.

Although, Rick James passed away in 2006, I’m sure someone in prison will be more than willing to take his place. Don’t bend over for the soap Craig!

Idiot

You Can’t Fix Stupid

Subject: Laurence McGee
Crime: Indecent Exposure, Drug Possession
Profile: Placed 2nd in a 1978 Leif Garrett look-alike contest

Laurence had no idea how prophetic those words on his tee shirt were, one fateful night last August. The night started like any other Friday night for a swinging single dude, living in Seattle. Rush hour commute in traffic, a quick bite to eat, shower and shave and a trip to his dealer to buy some Rohypnol.

Laurence apparently had a fondness for the ladies that was not reciprocal. So this hopeless romantic decided he needed some help….chemically. He purchased the date rape drug, Rohypnol or Ruffies to help improve his odds of success.

He went to a local bar and met a potential prospect. When she wasn’t looking he slipped the date rape drug into her drink, or so he thought. Apparently he’d unknowingly put the Ruffies into his own drink by mistake. By the time police arrived he was in the parking lot, laying on the hood of a Honda Civic without any pants!

Luckily for us, mug shots are only from the waist up! Maybe we should introduce him to the Rick James guy?

Is His Title In Jeopardy?

Is His Title In Jeopardy?

Subject: Daniel Allen Everett
Crime: Sex Offender
Profile: Reigning “Worlds Greatest Dad” International Champion

Daniel Allen Everett, is not only the reigning “Worlds Greatest Dad” he is also a child predator who was arrested after attempting to have sex with a 14 year-old girl…..while wearing his World’s greatest dad shirt!!

It’s unclear how this will affect his chances at defending his title, but it definitely won’t help.

Daniel went from being a world champ, to an internet laughing stock overnight. Well Daniel, look at the bright side…You may have lost the World’s greatest dad title, but you’ve got a shot at World’s Stupidest Criminal.

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Stupid Criminals & Celebrity Mug Shot Look Alikes

If your school fight song is”Dueling Banjos”, you might be a redneck.

Joe-Bob MaGee

Siloam Springs Arkansas – Meet Joe-Bob MaGee from Arkansas. Joe-Bob has the unique honor of reaching two milestones; He has been married three times but still has the same in-laws and he happens to be a dead ringer for the banjo playing boy from Deliverance. Remember Deliverance? It was the movie about the four men who travel into the mountains and…ah…become acquainted with some good ole’ boys?

Deliverance Kid

Joe was arrested for residential burglary. He allegedly broke into a mobile home in the trailer park where he lives! Some of the items taken? A set of six Hank Williams 8-tracks, a stuffed squirrel, a siphon hose, and three packages of beef jerky.

Police were able to track him by following a set of shoe prints to his trailer. There was a heavy rainstorm the night before and the ground was still pretty muddy, thus preserving the tracks. I guess everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

KISS your freedom good-bye!

Eddie Deluccio

Los Angeles California – This is Eddie Deluccio, who just happens to look a lot like Gene Simmons from the rock band KISS. Eddie isn’t the smartest criminal around.

Eddie stole about fifty thousand dollars worth of gold coins from the trunk of a car. The coins belonged to a local coin dealer who was in route to a coin show and left them in his vehicle. Eddie appeared to have gotten away with it as the police had no leads and no finger prints.

Gene Simmons

Then Eddie went and did something stupid, he got arrested for a drunken bar fight. After he was arrested, he feared police might suspect him in the coin robbery. In a panic, he used the pay phone in the jail cell to call his accomplice and ordered him to “…get rid of the rest of the coins…now!”

Unfortunately for poor Eddie, he didn’t realize that jail cells are under constant surveillance and jail house phone calls are monitored and recorded. Well it didn’t take long for the police to put two and two together and realize which coins he was talking about. They traced the call, and located the accomplice and coins. Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Lucius Alexander

Need A Post-It Note?

Newark, New Jersey – Meet Lucius Alexander, petty thief, alcoholic and a Carrot Top look-alike. Lucius was arrested for perhaps the stupidest theft of all time, stealing 20,000 Post-It Notes?!?!

Do you know anyone who needs 20,000 Post-It Notes?

Well, apparently Lucius believed he could make a killing selling them, so he broke into a warehouse where they were stored and make off with a boatload of them. Oh it seemed like the perfect crime…until it was time to sell them.

Carrot Top

Lucius fancied himself an entrepreneur, so he set up a booth at a local flea market and tried to unload his new found inventory. Lucius sure didn’t think things through because the flea market was just two blocks from the scene of the crime and the burglary made all the local papers and the evening newscast.

Police reported no fewer than 23 calls that day from flea market shoppers who had heard about the heist. Witnesses say that when Lucius was arrested he was crying like a baby, all while proclaiming his innocence. God must love stupid people. He made SO many of them!

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Matthew McConaughy, Carl Fredricksen and Voldemort?

Fake Matt

Subject: Anthony Mahowald
Crime: Porn & serial peeping
Profile: Likes to wear mirrors on his shoes

Meet Anthony Mahowald, who just happens to bear a striking resemblance to actor Matthew McConaughey. However, the similarities end there.

He’s accused of using his cellphone camera to snap pictures under dressing room doors. Police say he’s also accused of setting up a hidden camera in a bedroom.

Real Matt

And in February, he was arrested for peeping through a window. He was caught when the homeowner went outside to pick up the morning newspaper and noticed some tracks in the snow.

He followed the tracks around to the side of the house to his bedroom window, where Mr. Mahowald was peering in the window watching his wife get dressed. The homeowner used a stun gun to subdue him. Police say they also found child porn on Mahowald’s computer.

Disco Fever!

Subject: Weston Howard
Crimes: Public intoxication
Profile: Loves the Bee Gees

This is 85-year-old Weston Howard of Central Florida. Ole Weston is a real life Carl Fredricksen from the Disney animated movie “UP”. Weston was arrested for several counts of public intoxication, indecent exposure, disturbing the peace and butchering an already lame song in public.

Carl Fredricksen

Howard was seen stumbling along the city streets with no pants on singing “Stayin’ Alive” and begging for cash. He was arrested, held overnight and released after he sobered up and posted bail.

Police knew he was intoxicated before they initiated a sobriety test because they knew that no sober person would sing Bee Gees tunes, at least not willingly. Police said Howard has been arrested before, he’s the harmless town drunk who wanders the city streets most nights mumbling and smelling of Nightrain. However, according to locals, he’s never been known to sing Bee Gees tunes before, he’s usually partial to Rick James.

Subject: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
Crimes: Burglary, breaking and entering
Profile: Likes puppies, sunsets and world domination

Phineas

Meet Phineas T. Cormac, 42 of Thomasville Alabama. Phineas was booked on residential burglary charges and just happens to be a dead ringer for Voldamort from the Harry Potter movies. Phineas apparently choose the wrong house to burglarize, for several reasons. Number one, the homeowner was home. Number two, the homeowner was a 350 pound ex-pro wrestler and marine who was an avid firearm collector. Number three, the homeowner was African American, and judging from poor Phineas’s Aryan tattoos, the homeowner wasn’t thrilled to see him.

Voldemort

What exactly happened to Phineas’s face is unclear to police, as both the homeowner and Phineas haven’t been forthcoming with details. However, police speculated that the homeowner caught Mr. Cormac in the act of burglarizing his house and put a quick end to it.

Police also believe that when the homeowner saw the burglar’s racist tattoos that may have motivated a more severe beating than was otherwise warranted. We think just having the name Phineas is enough to justify the butt kicking that he got. Let’s face it, no matter how tough looking your tattoos are, your name is still Phineas, right?

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Celebrity Mug Shot Look-Alikes

More Cowbell!

Creepy Chris

Slightly Less Creepy Chris

Anyone familiar with the acting career of Christopher Walken, knows that he often portrays some very disturbing characters in his films. But when a real dude, who just happens to be a dead ringer for Chris, gets arrested for some Walkenesque creepy behavior, it makes one wonder; Is this art imitating life or life imitating art?

In April of 2011, New Jersey resident, Tony Kadyhrob was arrested and banned from several local universities for stalking college women. That is, until one of them showed of her self defense skills and took him down.

Tony fancies himself a ladies man and apparently believes that a middle age man with a bad mustache can be a babe magnet. Funny, that sounds a lot like the reoccurring character that Walken played on the “Saturday Night Live” skit called “The Continental”.

Victorious

Sikowitz

Psycho wits

OK now this one is weird. If you have kids, you’ve probably seen the Nickelodeon show “Victorious”. Sikowitz is one of the teachers on the show.

Not sure why anyone would want to look like this intentionally, even for an acting gig. It’s strange enough to find one guy in the entire universe with that hairdo, but two? Are you kidding?

Having a bad hairdo is not a crime, but neither of these two are scoring any brownie points with the Fashion Police either. I think this guy actually had straight hair until cops subdued him with a Taser.

Pippi!!!

Mr. Nilsson!

Pippi Longstocking

Well, speaking of bad hair……..You really have to wonder, what adult in their right mind would want to look like Pippi Longstocking? Especially a guy? What was this dude thinking? This guy will be very popular in prison. And what’s up with that shirt?

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Crazy Mug Shots

Stupid criminals give us more bog materiel than we could ever use, but we also enjoy a good mug as much as the next guy. These are old but funny nonetheless. Enjoy!

Will The Real Sméagol Please Stand Up?

Must Have The Precious!

Hey Gollum, don't bend over for the soap!

According to the police report, Gollum is accused of a variety of crimes including, petty theft, public nudity, unpaid parking tickets, and attempted mass murder and mayhem. Gollum’s royalties from the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy have run out and he’s obviously fallen on hard times. His celebrity status has faded, and acting gigs for impish creatures have all but dried up due to the down economy.

Recently, he’d been spotted on Hollywood boulevard dining out at trash receptacles of swanky, high priced Thai food bistros. A far cry from his days living in the lap of luxury in Middle Earth living off the the land in the swamps and caves of Mordor. Rumor has it he’d recently tried to pawn some stolen, gold jewelry. From the looks of the mug shot, he’s really let himself go. Such a shame!

Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side!

I'm not an alcoholic! I'm a drunk! Alcholics go to meetings!

The Emperor Has No Clothes!

Emperor Palpatine was arrested recently by Los Angeles Police on a charge of public intoxication. His failed plans of world domination had lead him into a downward spiral of alcoholism, self-loathing and bouts of public nudity.

When the Death Star was destroyed by rebel forces, he became homeless, forced to live on the streets.

He recently became involved in the Occupy L.A. Movement and at the time of his arrest was sleeping in a tent at city hall. He was arrested while urinating on a police dog and singing show tunes.

Apparently the dark side of the force leads to jail, and some huge bags under the eyes.

Who Would’ve Thought…Butt-Head Turned Out To Be The Responsible One!

Uh.............Huh, huh, huh.

We went back to the archives to dig this one up, an oldie but goodie. 2003, in this bizarre case of life intimating art, a real life Beavis, of Beavis and Butt-Head fame, was arrested for residential burglary.

"Where's Butt-Head?"

Meet Cris Kemp, 37 years old, who broke into a home, pocketed some Christmas money, dressed up in women’s clothing and preceded to move some kitchen appliances around. When confronted by the home owner he was wearing a leopard skin hat and scarf. That, in and of itself could get a man arrested in 8 states.

The homeowner, Carlos Castillo, used a stick as an improvised self defense weapon and entered the house to investigate. He ordered Kemp to sit down and wait for police, and surprisingly he complied without incident. Kemp’s clothes were found strewn around the house. “Hey Butt-Head, mug shots are cool…huh huh, huh!”

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