Apex Self Defense

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Archive for the category “Robbery foiled”

Stupid Criminals Call 911 On Themselves?!?!

Pot Boy


When stupid criminals call 911 it’s never good. Here are a few hilarious examples of what happens when these criminal masterminds decide to use the phone.

IS GROWING MARIJUANA LEGAL?

When most criminals are unsure if their activities rise to the level of illegality, you’d think they would seek out the advice of an attorney, right? Well, not 21 year-old Robert Michelson from Connecticut. I guess he thought it might be a bit pricey to seek out legal advice the traditional way. So instead he decided to call information….911. Unfortunately for him he was off by 5 numbers. In most states, information is still 411.

Michelson called a 911 dispatcher and confessed that he was growing marijuana, but apparently he wasn’t trying to turn himself in. He simply wanted some legal advice on the penalties and fines for growing pot.

“I’m reporting a possible crime,” Michelson said, “I’m growing marijuana and I want to know how much trouble I can get in for one plant.”

After the dispatcher stopped laughing, she told him it depended on the size of his plant. Unbeknownst to Michelson, the police have, in their possession, some space age technology that allows them the capability of tracing 911 calls and tracking down the caller. Who knew? So as it turned out, it didn’t take long for the cops to show up at the stoned genius’s house and arrest him for possession, as well as several other charges.

The bad news for Michelson is he’ll be spending some time in the local jail. The good news is he got an answer to his question and didn’t have to pay for an attorney to get it.

CALLING 911 FROM THE HOME HE BROKE INTO

Timothy Chapek

Timothy Chapek

Who is the dumbest criminal ever? This guy!! Meet Timothy Chapek, 25 from Portland Oregon. He thought it’d be a great idea to break into someone’s house and……..take a shower! That alone is enough to get him into the stupid criminal top 10, but his next move may send him straight to number one. While he was lathering up with a loofha, he heard the homeowner return home. So what does he do next? Hide in the house? Climb out a window and run away? No, he decided to call 911.

The following is a transcript from the hilarious call:

Burglar: “I just broke in to a house, and the owners came home!”

911 operator: “Wait, you broke into a house?”

Burglar: “Yeah.”

Burglar: “They can hear me.”

At this point the homeowner, Hillary McKenzie, arrives and can be heard on the call.

Hillary McKenzie: “Why are you in my house talking a shower?”

Burglar: “I’m sorry. My name is Timothy Chapek.”

McKenzie: “Why are you in my shower?”

Clark: “I broke in…”

McKenzie: “Alright, I am calling the police.”

Clark: “I have already called them, they are on the phone, right now.”

<strong>She eventually called the dispatcher from her cell phone.

McKenzie: “He’s in the bathroom, the door’s shut, and he said he is there, and I said (laughing), ‘who the hell are you?.”

911 operator: “Did he sound like he was high or drunk?”

McKenzie: “Well, he is obviously nuts.”

Chapek was charged with trespassing, and he becomes the latest in a long line of stupid criminals who have called 911 on themselves.

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87-year-old woman foils attempted robbery in NC

Glock 17 9mm – The weapon of choice for Grandmas everywhere

Hendersonville, North Carolina — Notice to burglars, be careful who you mess with when you break into a home. An 87-year-old woman packing heat is not someone to be taken lightly. Henderson County Sheriff Charles McDonald said that two men were arrested and now face first-degree burglary charges for breaking into a home while the resident was there.

They came in through a window, looking for goodies and instead woke the 87 year-old woman and got a close up view of her 9mm Glock. She never even had a chance to fire a shot, the two cowards promptly soiled themselves and scattered like roaches.

The men are also suspected in several other break-ins in the area. According to the Sheriff, both men were armed at the time of the attempted robbery. Just another example of a citizen using a self defense weapon to fight off a bad guy. The cops do a great job, but they can’t be everywhere, so we shouldn’t count on them for personal protection . Individuals should take responsibility for their own safety.

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Robberies Foiled With Beer, Golf Clubs & A Toy Gun

It’s Shame To See Good Beer Go To Waste


Kelvedon Hatch, England – A convenience store manager foiled an attempted robbery by throwing cans of beer at the attempted robber.

Aman Singh-Mann, 29, manager of the Nisa store in Kelvedon Hatch, England, said a knife-wielding masked man entered the store around 5:15 p.m. in the afternoon and demanded an employee open the cash register.

“It was a man shouting ‘open the till’. Straight away I knew I had to do something and I just acted on instinct. I went out and saw the man and he was waving the knife around. I grabbed the first thing I could and threw it at him.”

Singh-Mann said he continued to threw beer cans at the robber until he fled. Police are still trying to find the suspect. It’s a damn good thing Mr. Singh-Mann didn’t use pepper spray or a stun gun to fight off the robber or the bobbies would have arrested him for using a deadly weapon!
(UK man arrested for stun gun)
(UK man arrested for pepper spray)

Well, you gotta give him credit for thinking on his feet, after all a Beer bottle makes a great self defense weapon in a pinch. You know what makes a better one? A .500 Smith & Wesson!!!

Golf Clubs – Great For Driving, Putting And Kickin’ Ass!


Garden Grove, Ca – A jewelry store owner stopped an attempted robbery Wednesday by using an unlikely weapon…a nine iron!

Two Asian men entered Masterpiece Jewelry and indicated they had a question about repairing a piece of jewelry.

After the store owner buzzed them in, one of the suspects held a stun gun to the owner’s neck and demanded jewelry.

The owner broke free, ran to the back of the store and activated a silent alarm.
The attackers then shocked him repeatedly with the stun gun in an attempt to take him down. However, he was able to grab his golf club and tee-off on them so hard, they ran away, without any merchandise.

“We gotta be more careful,” said the owner, who was too afraid to reveal his name. “It’s the first time for me. What a shock.”

Officials plan to review security tapes hoping it will lead to the suspects.

Make My Day Punk.

Norwich, Ct – Norwich police arrested a pair of geniuses on Tuesday after a failed robbery attempt with a toy gun. Daron Henry and Jordan Nicholas, both 19 approached a couple on the street and demanded money. When the couple refused to had over the cash, Henry brandished the gun.

Now here is where it all falls apart, literally. When Henry tried to pistol whip the victim, the plastic gun broke into pieces. Out of fear or embarrassment, the two suspects then fled, but were caught a short time later.

Henry was charged with first-degree robbery, third-degree assault, breach of peace and brandishing a facsimile firearm. Jordan, whose list of pending criminal cases that include drug sales and assault charges, faces similar charges.

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