Apex Self Defense

Protecting the world from miscreants and scum

Stupid Criminals

Hey, where's my bike?

Stupidity knows no borders. So it stands to reason that stupid criminals are not limited by borders either. The stupid criminal is an international phenomenon. Case in point; two recent crime stories coming out of Jakarta demonstrate that America may not have a monopoly on stupidity.

Forget Something?
In February, four motorcycle-bound thieves, managed to steal another motorcycle from a rider in Cilincing, North Jakarta, but unfortunately left behind a key piece of evidence.

The four geniuses were riding their motorcycles when they managed to force Priyogo, a local resident on his way home from work, to pull over to the side of the road.

One of the thieves pulled Priyogo from his bike and quickly rode off. His accomplices quickly followed their friend, apparently unaware that he had left behind his own motorcycle.

Priyogo, who was obviously smarter than the thieves, rode away on the thieves’ forgotten motorbike, before the latter realized their mental gaffe. The robbers realized their mistake and tried to catch up with Priyogo, but he outran them and rode straight to the nearest police station. Police seized the “abandoned” bike, and used it’s registration information to track it to the robbers home. Rule #1 If you want to be a successful thief, you have to be smarter than the item you steal!

Sleeping is a good thing, but not at the scene of the crime!

Sleeping Beauty
Any good thief will tell you, there are a few hard and fast rules when it comes to be being successful; Conceal your identity so you won’t be identified, act when few witnesses are present, and remember to leave after you’re done!

Well, two out of three ain’t bad! This next guy followed the first two points to a tee but apparently forgot rule #3. He was caught after falling asleep in the front yard of his victim’s house in Depok, Indonisa one Monday morning in early January.

A local food vendor, making his daily rounds, came upon the house and said his suspicions were aroused when he noticed the man sleeping in the front yard of a home belonging to one of his regular customers. He then called the homeowner, who woke sleeping beauty and realized he was a thief. The homeowner and food vendor apprehended the man and held him until police arrived. “I thought it was odd when I saw someone sleeping in front of the house…..” he said.
Home burglaries are pretty common in all parts of the world, but sleeping burglars are still a unique phenomenon.

The culprit, apparently robbed the house with two friends. The two friends were at least smart enough to remember to leave the scene of the crime and return to their homes before turning in for the night.

And finally a story that will make you proud to be an American.

High Five!
Gerald B. Hardin was arrested and charged in February after he turned himself in for cutting a man’s hand off with a saw in 2008. That man turned out to be his accomplice in a major insurance fraud scheme. Their plan, was to cut off one of their hands, get it reattached at the hospital, and then collect and split the insurance payout for the injury.

However, all did not go according to the plan. They did receive $670,000 from a homeowner’s policy and other policies covering accidental death and dismemberment, but doctors were unsuccessful in reattaching the accomplice’s hand. Hey no big deal, that’s why God gave you two hands right?

Cops eventually figured it out, and Hardin turned himself in. He’s been charged with six crimes, and faces up to 20 years in prison plus $250,000 in fines if convicted.

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